I Am Not Enough

I am not enough

When she brings

Grimy little fists

To eyes brimming

with tears

Angry, sad, or out of sorts

Because of the injustices

Thrust upon her

Little voice shaking

And heart needing stitching

She calls out for me

But she really doesn’t mean me

Or does she?

I can ply her with kisses

Sing gentle songs

Of His power and His grace

Purchase princess dresses

Play tea party

Take her to the House of Mouse

Spend hours interceding for her in prayer

And let her stay up later then she should

But when I take her to the place

Where the other mother resides

It doesn’t matter

That I band aid scrapped knees

And sit up wiping brows

When she is feverish and dull

When the mother of the body

Descends with her presence

I am cast aside

Although I offer the world

And the wisdom of the Word

And she offers grief and inconsistency

I am the one who straps her in once again

Broken after two hours of paradise

Screaming and shooting bitterness into my open arms

I am affirmed once again

That I will never be enough

Dr. Naima Johnston Bush