I Am Not Enough by Dr. Naima Johnston Bush (c) 2019

I am not enough 

When she brings 

Grimy little fists 

To eyes brimming 

with tears 

 

Angry, sad, or out of sorts 

Because of the injustices 

Thrust upon her 

Little voice shaking 

And heart needing stitching 

 

She calls out for me 

But she really doesn’t mean me 

Or does she? 

 

I can ply her with kisses 

Sing gentle songs 

Of His power and His grace 

Purchase princess dresses 

Play tea party 

Take her to the House of Mouse 

Spend hours interceding for her in prayer 

And let her stay up later then she should 

 

But when I take her to the place 

Where the other mother resides 

It doesn’t matter 

That I band aid scrapped knees 

And sit up wiping brows 

When she is feverish and dull 

 

When the mother of the body 

Descends with her presence 

I am cast aside 

Although I offer the world 

And the wisdom of the Word 

And she offers grief and inconsistency 

 

I am the one who straps her in once again 

Broken after two hours of paradise 

Screaming and shooting bitterness into my open arms 

I am affirmed once again 

That I will never be enough

 

Dr. Naima Johnston Bush 

Foster Mother © 2019 7thirtyseven Logos Publishing